The age thing,
some days its there others it seems to be miles away. Not unlike
going to the museum, you will look at things that are beautiful not
what is under too many layers of dust somewhere in your own attic. We
seem to forget what treasures are surrounding us, because they are
free, we do not have to travel to them or read about them in the
paper.
Dating sites, we
are looking at what we want, not always what is more likely to want
us, do we wait and sit till someone desperate enough, still within
our brackets, is picking us? We all want to be found, to be the one
desired, not to be the wanting one.
For me it is
like Christmas when someone starts chatting with me when it is clear
he has an interest into who I am. Looking at some young guys, the are
online waiting to be found, if they have to make the first move, it
seems that they get more insecure about them selves. Where as 5
minutes ago when they settled behind the pc, laptop, ipad they had a
last look in the mirror and thought; “damn I look ok, a catch!”.
And than no response, is the picture wrong? Why is there no one,
other than the odd older guy out there to talk to me, can I still
block him? Before I have to pay for this app, or can he keep on
bugging me?
In the “old”days
we took the effort to dress according the latest fashion rules and
went out, to the place where we would meet more “likes and
perhaps”, now we sit at home can still be in our boxers as the
picture in the app shows us at our best. (that’s what we believe)
or I put something on that slightly looks like I think I should look.
The digital world is a weird one.
On the off
chance you find a guy to chat to, and for once it is longer than the
5 standard questions and you can actually have a nice time.
In a world where
so many look the same, just look at the return of the beard, how can
I find the one for more than looks and sweat moves. Yesterday I
talked with a friend so much younger, and he told me about his last
date. The “other” was much older, and he seemed to be surprised
that the sex was different as the adventures with guys his own age.
So I asked him to elaborate, I was as usual curious, they are in a
way my stuff to write on days where in my own life not much happened
and they tickle my brain. Well, returning to the conversation, it
wasn't as in-emotional, ok, that needs some more explanation. It was
missing the cold approach of get in, get down and strip sequence that
normally went on once the date had started. Not every “old”man is
that way, some of them try to keep up with the new rules of behaving
when on a quick date. To me it differs whether you are out for sex,
sex with something or looking for something much more than just
moving sheets. He had a great night, should not every date be great,
in his own right? It seemed, that without going into to much detail,
this guy was well balanced in his move as his approach. My friend
stayed way longer with him and enjoyed the sex in a different way as
his usual shag-ups. No this should not be read as a hitch-hikers guide through the
gay-galaxy, but it is nice to hear that some good moments are still
out there.
After a while we
started talking about love, because he is after all looking for this
too. So talk to me, what are you looking for? Out of the blue he
asked me why I never tell him about my wishes and dreams, even at my
age (thank you very much) I must have ideas? I did have enough goes
over the past (again thanks!!). Well what I am looking for? In
principle the same thing as you, although the model will probably be
a second hand one, but still with a running engine.
Your love is
like my love, and my love is much like your love, not much different,
If I would be a song, together we would be a symphony. What are you
aiming for? Where do we begin? Am I still looking or am I content
with things to come on my road? Recently checked my tom-tom but there
is no know destination called love, or even lovers lane in there. We
seem to rely to much on electronics to find one, or find our way, an
opening into la-la-land.
Sometimes all we
see are beautiful pictures, yes a six-pack is nice, but how about an
IQ more than 6? somewhere after a steamy night I want you to at least
find the way out again without me having to map it out on the kitchen
table.
Love comes in
many splendour and difficult ways. Music and literature only give us
a way in, like the magazine and the story lines on TV, but you are
the writer and creator of your own daytime TV special. Everyday you
can decide what to eat and what not, you know what calories to avoid
and how many miles to run to forget that chocolate bar you just ate.
Why cant you make your mind up about the one to fall in love with. If
you grab a chocolate-chip cookie do not expect it it taste like a
steak, darling it is on the wrapper!!!
the hormones,
they can play a tricky game to the mind, its like looking at the menu
in a candy shop, which one looks the best? We forget to look at the
wrapper and sometimes end up with a nasty taste, but we still
finished it.
My rounds in the
candy shop, well I had a few, and I still have fond memories about
those days, where I remember a certain person who made me feel I had
fireworks in the mid of July. The days without mobile phones and
other gizmo's, the once we rely on now, everyday and with so many
things, even this old man. How would I otherwise be able to write
this?
It also lets me
talk and laugh with the ones who give me so many reasons to write, as
where a few months ago I was only reflecting on my own things in
life. They supply me with an never ending stream of thoughts, stories
and sometimes laughs. Each one of them unique, but sometimes so
predictable. Youth, sometimes I wish I had it again, other times I
feel I still have it, and sometimes I do long for the day I grow up.
But for now I remain where I am, I like it here, my brain is happy,
and ever so busy.
I can truly rest
when they go out on their adventures and tell me about it, not always
in detail, but some of them don't need to tell, I do know them. My
eyes do see what their mouths are not telling. They keep adding to my
life, and show me that even at my age, things are not so much
different, but can be better (his words, not mine) and we can still
be in for some “mind blowing”stuff. I will not be hanging from a
chandelier soon, but I do know how a good moment can and should feel.
I look to you
sometimes my friends, after all is gone and done, through you I can
be strong!!!
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