You know its a loosing game and still
you want to go there, always, so many times I have done the same, you
never know when you get lucky.
And over time when it hasn't become
what you chose it to be, you say its how you wanna be, and you have
nothing to loose.
Did you loose you head for no one and
no one holds your heart?
You wander a long the beach, feet wet,
look at the incoming waves and breath the still warm air. There is a
tune in your head, and walking alone here, songs and lyrics come to
mind. For sure everyone once dreamt of this moment, but with a slight
change, not being alone. My flight southbound is still a few weeks
away but I can not wait to feel the sand underneath my feet, feel the
sea breeze coming in from the Atlantic. To feel home, and feel peace,
in mind and body. This year without the little bandits as they will
have moved by the time I arrive, so no beach ball games or trying to
tell stories in half English and Spanish. For the first time I will
be able to be on my own, with still the family around to make sure I
will be well taken care off. But I don't mind, I long for a long
walk, watch the sunset and greet another summers night in my home
away from home.
With all my friends and family here, I
still need some away time, where I manage my thoughts and have them
flow on a more gently stream, lower my heartbeat a little and enjoy
the things around me, tranquillity, sun, beach and the ocean. So many
years, started as answer to a newspaper add, I picked the right job,
as nothing as the ocean can give me more peace and energy for the
things life surprises me with. Its hard to explain what it feels like
when you are in the middle of the ocean, with nothing to see for
miles than just the waves and the sky, be it in a storm or calm
waters, the waves, swell, sound of it brings something. In the worst
of storms, being seasick, the best thing is to stand outside, feel
the salt water on you skin, the wind roaring and than crawl into bed
cold and still a bit wet. It will put you in an amazing sleep will
the ships movements will act as a rocking cradle.
Walk distant shores and feel that this
ocean has become a part of you over the years. I am blessed it is
only a bike ride away from where I live and when I go to work, just
outside the window.
Where ever the navy has brought me over
the many years gone by, there was always the walk along the water, be
it in Boston, Copenhagen or on St. Thomas, sure the beaches and
shores were all different, but my mind was able to wonder as freely
as being at sea. Walking along the coast, on a beach seems to bring
clarity in mind, maybe sometimes even in life. My mind thinks in
wondered ways, I sometimes ask myself when will it be regulated by
age, wisdom or maturity, but in the end I am glad I still daydream,
and enjoy when my mind wonders, even when others might think it
inpolite when I wander, well sorry guys, something far more
interesting popped into the grey matter. Its roughly 3 pounds of grey
blubber, but it makes me go every where, and makes me love so many
things, and people.
The ocean, blue, sometimes wild,
sometimes calm, sometimes warm, sometimes cold but always there, the
place I can float and just dream away, being rocked on your waves and
the sound a mere whisper in my ear to tell me; it's gonna be ok!
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