Summer Melody

You're the boy who murdered love

You're the boy who murdered love
Cold hands and a heart of stone
You're a Midas in reverse
You're the king of pain and hurt

And the stars turn into fire
And the roses change from red to black
You encourage my desire
Then you put the arrow in my back and I'm

Shot
You're the thief of innocence
You're a tainted cherry tree
There's a mark upon your skin
Where your heart once used to be

You're a sinner with no soul
You're the nearly-was I never had....

Lying in the sun-lounger with a unhappy stomach this tune came on, and it was the first time i ever listened to that song, it kinda stuck this afternoon. Together with what will turn out to be a really upset stomach or a flue.
But it took me back to my marriage, which i hope now soon will be legally divorced. In a flash or how ever long the song lasted i was reminded of a few things, and on this sunny afternoon the feeling in my stomach became as it felt even worse. There i was calling myself an idiot, clear and simple, now and this time it was about time i listened to myself.

While here i met, or rather we started chatting this nice guy, unfortunately from Columbia, not that he can help it but i managed to find another non european who i seem to get along with. We chat frequently on the phone and via MSN and we do seems to like each other for as far this media goes. And than there is Ben, the nicest brown eyes i have ever gazed in...... as i am slowly (!) turning 50 again i find myself faed with 2 man special in my life, not knowing how or if i am special in there's. Ben i will see in a little over a week but i hope to see the other one next weekend if all works out, i have to disappointment my very good friends here, but after taking more than good care off me, the difficult camper i am, i think they deserve a few days with their family and kids to relax from life and me. Paco is anyhow going crazy as he is our translator for almost everything. That must cost him a few brain cells, so this way i have a good reason to ask them to go alone and leave me be. so each of us has something to do with out demanding to much from the other.

I love them with whole my heart but the impact i have on their lives is amazing, never ever did i meet friends that want to make me loved and part of their family as those two.
Tomorrow i will speak to my Columbian friend and see what will happen, one thing is for sure i will not be bored this holiday.
Even with 48 (still) i have to short out my life.....

All this and the song still lingers on.......