Falling apart..... and spanish glue

If you think you're sinking, you probably are
Only you can know
If you think you're falling, you probably will
You've got to lose yourself, and not let go
I think I'll be alright
I think I will survive
Everybody gets a little scared like this sometimes
You've got to fall apart
And Put It Back Together again

Back at my friends place after a, lets say, night out of town.
After much thinking i went out of my comfort zone and went out to make new friends, and hey, it worked perfectly!
Spend the afternoon looking at new places, talking a lot in english and my first words in spanish, trying to make a logical sentence...... only to find out is still have a lot to learn and to practise.......
But spend the night with a stranger, who now is a friend. We spend hours talking and a few of them eating amazing spanish food..... this country is bad for my waiste...... but i love it anyway.
Somehow i felt like i need to do something on my own, not always rely on my friends here, who are amazing and great and so much more that i lack space to write it.
They had a great day out with spanish friends and we all shared pizza tonight. A full day at a island off the coast and the kids had a wonderfull day and could not wait to tell, but unfortunately i had to understand it via the pictures. One day i will have a good conversation with them!
about to hit the bed after 2 great days in this little place, i sometimes wish i would have turned up earlier here things could have been so much different.... but again you have to fall apart look at the pieces and start building again, this time i can add another flavor, Spain!
Time to sleep......

Summer Melody

You're the boy who murdered love

You're the boy who murdered love
Cold hands and a heart of stone
You're a Midas in reverse
You're the king of pain and hurt

And the stars turn into fire
And the roses change from red to black
You encourage my desire
Then you put the arrow in my back and I'm

Shot
You're the thief of innocence
You're a tainted cherry tree
There's a mark upon your skin
Where your heart once used to be

You're a sinner with no soul
You're the nearly-was I never had....

Lying in the sun-lounger with a unhappy stomach this tune came on, and it was the first time i ever listened to that song, it kinda stuck this afternoon. Together with what will turn out to be a really upset stomach or a flue.
But it took me back to my marriage, which i hope now soon will be legally divorced. In a flash or how ever long the song lasted i was reminded of a few things, and on this sunny afternoon the feeling in my stomach became as it felt even worse. There i was calling myself an idiot, clear and simple, now and this time it was about time i listened to myself.

While here i met, or rather we started chatting this nice guy, unfortunately from Columbia, not that he can help it but i managed to find another non european who i seem to get along with. We chat frequently on the phone and via MSN and we do seems to like each other for as far this media goes. And than there is Ben, the nicest brown eyes i have ever gazed in...... as i am slowly (!) turning 50 again i find myself faed with 2 man special in my life, not knowing how or if i am special in there's. Ben i will see in a little over a week but i hope to see the other one next weekend if all works out, i have to disappointment my very good friends here, but after taking more than good care off me, the difficult camper i am, i think they deserve a few days with their family and kids to relax from life and me. Paco is anyhow going crazy as he is our translator for almost everything. That must cost him a few brain cells, so this way i have a good reason to ask them to go alone and leave me be. so each of us has something to do with out demanding to much from the other.

I love them with whole my heart but the impact i have on their lives is amazing, never ever did i meet friends that want to make me loved and part of their family as those two.
Tomorrow i will speak to my Columbian friend and see what will happen, one thing is for sure i will not be bored this holiday.
Even with 48 (still) i have to short out my life.....

All this and the song still lingers on.......

Spanish night, columbian.... well not coffee

Summer is kind of like the ultimate one-night stand: hot as hell, totally thrilling, and gone before you know it.

The middle of the night and i should be asleep, but no, i have to find a Columbian to talk to until the early hours. My luck, i guess, well it has been funny and relaxing i noticed. 2 people from different places of the globe meeting in a digital world and starting to chat. Of course i take my precautions as to where and what i write, but hey, i am in Spain and all is quiet, and i think i can hear rain........ well can only hope that that rain is gone in the morning.

For now it is delivering a nice cool breeze through the open window and as i sit here typing that is more than welcome.my shoulders however tell me to change my seating so not to wake up all stiff.
So now in a new position a few words before i too crawl into bed for some hours sleep (although i just finished a coke zero). With this rain and the prospect of more on the way i think that there will not be so much camping. well not as much as planned. It's a holiday nevertheless and i am enjoying myself, seems that is the goal to aim for.

Not going to the camping also lets me enjoy the digital world a little more, and i can at least put some more pages to the blog. Checked my old one again, and it is still there and noticed the really big gaps in it. Sometimes a year in between the posts, wonder if i can improve over the coming months. 
I'm not planning on a year break from writing, even more as my life is going to change kind of a lot in the coming period. Work and private will see their paths go in different directions as previous thought off but i am going to give it my best shot.

Talking to my Columbian friend i noticed that we do have a few things in common, to be more clear we think alike in a few areas, and so even with the age gap we can talk and share these thoughts. Different continents but still somewhat of a simmular mind.

But as the rain is falling i notice the clock and i do need to go and get some sleep...... night night 

Spain and rain

It was a sunny day and overnight the rain arrived.... so this morning it all changed, well the plans we had of starting living in our tents.
Not to worry, the sun is out again and we will head for that little strip of land at the beach tomorrow. Still have 10 days left here to work on my tan and simply be happy.
The third time around that i am here and the second time i stay at my friends house. To feel like family, and i do, but on the other hand i miss the hotel room where i would have a little more privacy, don't get me wrong here they hand me all the privacy i need or want but it is a family and here in the apartment i feel it can get a little crowded sometimes......
the weather so far has been nice and i am really enjoying it especial in the hammock near the sea. Yesterday i was looking at the sky through the leaves of the tree, and with my music on it felt so peaceful, so amazing. These ones are the moments where you notice that being alone isn't such a bad thing in the end.
Fleetwood Mac in my ears and a little filtered sun on my face and i almost fell asleep, i did keep myself awake. Do not fancy being caught snoaring........ not yet anyway.

Later on i will go for a little walk in the sun along the harbor and make some holiday snaps, as otherwise it will not happen, i might simply forget. As one does on holidays.
As stated earlier being on my own can be a blessing but sometimes i feel like i am missing that other person. The sign that i am probably not suppose to remain single all my life. For the moment i am content with that fact and my situation. The belly however tells me that it remains a wish for the future. Being almost 50 doesn't really make it easier and with my track history, being open and positive almost sounds like work.

sure there are some great guys out there but i had too many great ones with even greater problems or side effects. Why can they not attach a health warning on these guys, or a other warning on the other type; whats out!!! danger of falling in love (but never gonna happen). Life, love and at the moment the Spanish language remain a mystery to me.

But i have a happy feeling so like always let's assume that all will be ok, or at least revealed, in one way or another......... for the moment they, it and me keep smiling, there is sun and tomorrow plenty of beach...

(but less internet)

30 june departure

At the airport and a good moment to start writing i think, waiting for my flight to spain. Busy as usual at the airport but a smooth check-in and less luggage than expected, i hope i can say the same thing flying back. I intend to go shopping in spain but leave some stuff behing what is now in my suitcase, i need to repack some items or the chocolates i bought at Harrods might be in little pieces by the time i arrive in Vigo.

With travelling by ferry lately i forgot how busy and crowded a airport can be at any time.... and the holidays started. Remembering why i am so happy using a ferry travelling home. But in the end i arrive and have plenty off time to relax and get this off my mind.

More irritating is the mixture of perfume and sweat, but i only found a empty seat in this area. So have to get over the fact that someone in my seating area doesn't know the meaning of deodorant. Nasty !!!!!

An hour to go till boarding and this will also be another memory added to so many ones of airports in the past.

Just noticed that peace only excists at places like this, all nationalities are in one big hall, and no one has a go at the other, only pushing to be past the boarding officer first, afraid there might not be a seat left in the plane, as if that would be possible. A good place to study human behaviour, why am i not seeing hordes of scientist here?

Ahhhh what bliss, next to the smell of sweat a dirty nappy is added, might be the right time to go for a walk around and look at stuff.

Maybe more tonight when i landed, at least i will try to upload this and so my first holiday blog 2011 is written.