project sunday

Another Sunday and enough time to myself to have a go at a little writing. The days go by fast but still nothing much is happening. All is quiet and I have yet more time to settle in my new way of living, and I must say I imagined it harder as it in the end proved to be.

With not having to work every day to make a living I find myself more thinking of the past and “what’s next”. Without being overly worried I must add.

Arrived at a point where the question of how to spend the coming years, single or not so single is lingering on the never resting mind. I have always considered myself to be a man of feelings and some old fashioned romance, but when arriving at the question time I find myself more looking for what is practical and if the “new” addition to my life would be an obstacle in my life from now onwards. Must I wonder where that came from? I hope not as I try hard to see the logic in it. The last years I have had a string of failed relationships or attends of one. To only find myself wondering now if I would not be hindered by one in the limited freedom I give myself while going through the motion of everyday life.

On one side I have changed and on the other life has changed, with that I mean the things we seem to find important in life, and of course relationships. While doing my research into the gay life and all its colors I am finding more and more that maybe too much has changed. To come to my points regarding young people in search of their place in life in combination with their sexuality I talk to youngsters and I can still be surprised. By far they seem to suffer from wanting a strong relationship with the fear of it becoming old and boring soon. These youngsters are on a path of fast discovering the gay life, scene and all the different ways to have “relations”, losing out on a moment to stand still reflect and realize what they have, or not have. How can I help a 19 year old when he complains there is no true love or romance out there, after he has just been partying and sleeping in many different ways with many different guys as being on a gameshow, where it is all about scoring. So after asking him to define romance he is lost within 2 sentences, storybook examples from movie or if I am lucky a book. Next question to follow is; what is love to you? Again and again I am met with eyes staring at a wall or other furniture in the room accompanied with a long silence and almost the sound of breaking brain matter.

They can in seconds answer questions about sexual positions they like or fetish they might love, like or dislike. Hello internet, yes you are helping us a lot, but in this case with the ready available porn you are killing the youngsters. Continuing with my questions I asked him whether or not he makes sounds or talks while having sex, sure, was the answer otherwise you are not “performing” well. So what? Are you up for an Oscar? After a while he admitted that maybe only 10 percent of the noises made during the act were based on actual arousal, good that must feel great. Having sex because you want to be intimate but having to keep track on how long every action takes and how often we have to moan etc. and yes you guessed correctly most of the action is done and dusted within 30 to 40 minutes, unless there is some group action, because that is never over that fast, well not according to the downloads from the net. Good to know there is a how to ….. for dummies. So yes we can make performance sheets for love, intimacy or basic sex, the internet shows us how and in what sequence we should perform, once we have established our roles, because nowadays you have to be one or the other, just going on your feelings and your mood might confuse the other party, or parties.

When you believe this is only the younger generation, well think again my friend, the elder gay generation is catching up as they are looking for the fountain of youth and on the way to get there adapt to the young gay guide from the internet…. Guys be careful and don’t break something we do not heal as quick as we use too!!!

Time to read some more articles and try make some sense out of it to put it into my scripture for work.