Heat, thunder and the smell of rain.

After rain there will be sun, after scorching heat there is the more than welcome thunderstorm. My head almost twisted in unnatural position I am looking at the dark sky, where flashes of thunder weave there mysterious patterns. The middle of the night and I should be fast asleep, but this game of light, sound and rain keeps me awake. No, I am not upset by it, I love this, it is second to romantic stuff with candlelight. Never saw it as the wrath of the gods, but more entertainment for a lonely end to a summers day.

How amazing how some things of nature give us these thoughts, feelings we can not truly give a place. My parents, explained what thunder was when I was young enough to understand it and wrapped around the warning about mother natures dangerous laser game. So why do I get in this mood, why do I have the wish to dance in the rain outside and dance to the beat of the thunder. Here in my bed, just now better positioned to make the utmost use view of the thunderstorm, I can feel the cold wind coming in through the open window and I love the feeling on my chest. Its refreshing and cooling after a few nights in a warm bed.

I can not help it but I get into a romantic mood, best enjoyed alone, I might otherwise miss out on the music of the sky. My other half might just be a disturbing factor by merely opening his mouth, even when telling me that he loves me. So I am glad I am meteorological single. I can enjoy the weather on my own. Its electrifying and seems to be charging my body and mind with new positive energy. Not bad mother nature! Thanks!

Being “happily” single this sets me back in a romance setting, and my mind wanders to other places. Still a true romantic at heart I can not help it. Long lost loves and memories are coming to mind, and at first it only makes me feel old. Feeling the things I do I still drift away on my imaginary cloud as I did when I was somewhere in my mid twenties. So the shell may wrinkly but in my mind I am still young and sexy (hell its my fantasy) life in all its beauty. What a ride it has been, and the engine is still running, like the thunder rolling in the distance. Thor, as ancient myths makes us believe is throwing his hammer left and right, why not hit Cupid in the arse and make sparks fly, he made a mess out of my love life. For sure his arrow hit me, my body is still in pain, not even taking into account my brain.

The places I have been, the things I have done, the man I have loved and the friends I have made over the years, a single thunderstorm is needed and you are all back in my life. A mere memory, some good, some bad and some very special. Love is a sound not only in music, but in the aves of the ocean, the garbage truck on a Sunday morning, the little bird in my window while looking over Bolongo Bay. So many of them there have been in my life, and I am thankful for these moments. It made me a rich person, each one of them, they left the imprint where I can return on nights like this. The loves maybe over but the feeling of having the moment is still there. We might not want to remember old, lost and maybe even the wrong kinds of love, but admit while it was there it was fucking amazing. Even so that a roll of thunder and gusts of rain bring it back and not only the colder air is to blame for this slight sensation making the skin go all funny.

So many people have been part of the things that build my memory and my ways of handling a situation, or shaped the man I am today. Over the years I have changed my reaction to things I find time-wasting, as were I had patience I now discard it and move on, I even extend this pattern to people, if you do not contribute to my life in a positive way I will smile, shut down to the needed attention span and swiftly move on, away from you. I know I have passed the point that marked half of my life, I have spend time on people like them in that period, now is the time of life, and me. (the age of man, Gandalf would say in a dramatic soft voice) some of these far away place will stay a memory as I do not ave the funds to visit them again, but they are strong enough to last me a lifetime. The sound of the waves of the Caribbean are clear enough to me, the sound of the rain is not washing it away, not even the face of my than boyfriend, as when I looked in his eyes, I was in heaven, or in anyway a good equivalent.

Somewhere in the past I fell in love with love it self, and I think it fits my romantic profile, I just seem to have missed out on the long-term relationship bug. I do like to be in one, but it must not make an attempt to smother me under loads of responsibilities and commitments. I do honour the once about being truthful and honest, but they can not be time consuming I noticed, again like the thunderstorm its heavy, full of sound and visual effects, but even here are moments where it is just raining. Where the water clears the world of the dust settled and breaths life into all things growing. The leaves in the wind find the lesser evil of the storm a source of life. Am I a storm person, to come, have an effect and when the rain does its work I move on, go silent for a while until there is enough pressure and unstable factors in heaven to roar again and talk about life in rumble and lighting. 

Love and life, so electrifying it can come and go with a bang, but let it be a good one!