Its a Saturday evening and i am at
home, relaxing after a kind of busy day. Early morning but a lazy
breakfast, after that the rush to be on time for a lunch with a
friend.
Much has happened since the last time I
wrote a little, it has been to long, and much has happened that was
truly worth writing about. But somehow my mind was thinking but my
fingers not typing.
Perhaps because the stuff to write
about is slowly changing, as is my life, as where love and life's
philosophy was a hot topic so to say. Things did change! I still do
wonder about the things in life, but less about love, and all
related. In the past months I have found new friends and my view of
things got influenced, in some ways even changed.
My love for a certain person has truly
reached its end and I am starting only to see that what I deemed to
be a reality was a one sided dream, it just took me years to wake
up...... which is truly amazing as I drink buckets of coffee.
Not only good things come to an end
also bad things seem to meet their makers. And good it is.
Its hard to loose a love and what one
thought to be a good friend, but at the end of this road I can only
spot my footsteps, somewhere in the distance I lost my way.
Here I am, on yet another crossroad in
my life....... but I hesitate to take a direction, I want to linger a
little and look before I start walking as I realize that the way to
the end only gets shorter and I feel that there is still a lot to
see.
People do come into our life for a
reason, some of them are there to teach others to start loving as
friends and family, and I am glad they are here. My friends and
family are the sound in my ear telling me I am alive and never is
there a moment that is called silence. My solitude moments I put them
into the white noise settings so I can hear my own thoughts. Am I
thinking to much or not enough, or even the wrong stuff? In a strange
way it keeps me sane.
With my head firm on my shoulders I
wonder what else can I carry without my knees giving way?
New friends are fun and make me laugh,
see things in a different light, my now and my future are changing so
why not the light? Sometimes it is color and other days black and
white, depends on my dream or reality state of mind. Daydreams are
not that often anymore I try and make the most of every day things.
Into my every day wandered friends and
I am thankful for them, young and old but each one of them a star in
their own sky. We talk about life, love and sex and we laugh about
each others reality and ideas, but only to learn from it. Over the
years I have met many people but not since late did it have this kind
of impact, maybe because I noticed other loosing theirs together with
their ability to reason. Life is catching up, at a fast speed. It
feels like driving a fast car and going over the speed limit and to
have everything I use to see clear go into, almost rainbow colored
blur. So it was about time to hit the breaks and spend even more time
with them, talk, listen and sometimes just nodding to show I pay
attention. The jewels in my life, what ever happens at home, when
there is just me is becoming a more pleasant moment. One of my
friends would probably start talking about karma, or the earths power
lines bending in a positive direction. To me? I might just be getting
better vision. Its like 10 million fireflies are lighting up my world
and it feels I am awake while I am asleep. The world seems to turn
slower. Sure it is still at the same speed, but I seem to notice more
as if I have some more minutes in an hour. Still complaining about my
insomnia at the end of the week. Dreams are back at my rare moments
of sleep and I can tell myself another tale or adventure when I am
awake.
Glad no one will tell me this is old
age approaching, I will just make myself believe something different.
Life is just catching up, and so far in a good way. No I did not win
the lottery, I am getting more people in my life worth knowing. I no
longer live half a life, I get to know so much more.
With some of the “young” ones the
topics are so far apart within seconds that my mind needs to go in
overdrive, and I truly love it. We talk almost every night, thanks to
modern technology sometimes for hours or just minutes but is is al
worth it. People half my age and we are one the same page, this book
of late is an amazing story, a work in progress and it will for sure
change the way I write in my little blog. So today is a start of the
other pages, about time to close one book and start writing a new
one...... it feels new and refreshed, its time and much needed, but
not to late.
Glad to have my friends and family,
they truly are the spice of life!
For my young ones:
The young man knows the rules, but the
old man knows the exceptions.
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