Zapping........ Sunday

Sunday morning and still down with a flu I have nothing better to do than watch some TV and hope that it will get better soon.

It also means zapping from one channel to another hoping that something good will turn up, not that it matters as I can not concentrate long enough to sit trough a movie.

One of the channels I landed on was showing a travel report kind of program, aimed at the gay audience, it did not even take 5 minutes and I was annoyed. Really does the gay community have nothing better to do than show off? The presenter was almost to camp to be believed he can actually walk on a sandy lane without damaging his Prada loafers.

Sure we all are allowed to enjoy the money we make working hard for it, and I hope we all do, especially in these times.

On the other side I am not the average one, and maybe even too judgmental but sometime I am just thinking: why, why do they have to “over-do”, almost everything. Yes, we do make up as a group for being creative, inventive and we have some power people among us. Like every one we all look for places we feel comfortable and at ease with each other. But lately it seems that if you gay up, you can raise the prices too. We advertise gay travel, cruises, holidays and so much more, but compared with the nice hotel just around the corner, the prices are sky high. Is it truly so much better? Many paces are gay-friendly and still charge not over the top.

Lately a gay cruise was in the news because someone got killed, whether falling overboard or jumping him self, they used the word hedonism in the article. Many reactions were based on the picture where many topless men were shown they could not believe so many people would be on a cruise liner. In my mind it is a floating orgy. One company makes a ton of money and the guest seldom end up with the person they share the cabin with.

Not al gay man or woman are the same, but look on the internet, read the novels or simply look around, it looks like it is all about scoring, hunting and only hookup with as much as possible. To me it became shallower over the years and I began to hate it even more. Little has remained in the open of the guys and girls who are not part of this, and I feel like I am a world away from the group I belong too. It even cost me my relationship and my marriage because I do not want to give in to a group that’s surrounds itself with only likewise and in some cities even get a building or a neighborhood so they feel more protected. So we are part of society? We really fit in? It took years for the people that came before us to get us in to this society as being a normal part of it, to only find ourselves taking separated holidays, our own hotels, a whole money making, or should I say grabbing industry. Clearly I am not the only one noticing this, but is living in a gay world worth the extra dime for the bigger part of our community? It seems it is.

Weird that a few minutes on TV can make me feel like this, but perhaps I am on that side of the river where looking at “Gay-Country”, doesn’t look al that greener or peachy. I do like color in my life, but in this case I prefer to stay the grey mouse, and try to find happiness in a less colorful but maybe cheaper and realistic way.

Maybe I am just not gay enough……. Oooohhhh well lets not complain and just go on with life.