A foggy night outside and it looks like something out of a Dickens story when I look down the street, where somewhere in the grey wet soup, a street lamp is spreading its weak light.
Cold and wet is all I can feel, walking the street up to my front door, how miserable the world can be……. Or maybe just the weather. I think a lot of that feeling depends on what we want to do with it. In the end it is only fog, nothing more, nothing less. But god what we can do with it when we feel that nothing turns out to be ok in our lives.
No fear, I just felt cold and wet and that in combination with the flu I am fighting, not really a very nice walk.
Just had a talk, or what ever we call it when we use Skype, but anyway, he had positive news today and it only took a second to think about the person he loves and realizing they had no future to bring him down to major misery. Love, a simple four letter word, but powerful in al its meaning. Seeing him online and listening to him I couldn’t wonder if I sound the same, at my age. Haven’t I learned anything in the end? Not only is love being talked about in a positive or negative way, but it seems to never end. So how come these self-help guru’s make tons of money from it?
Listening to him, passing my advice, offering my help, I just repeated what my friends told me, or better yet, still tell me. In the time we had record players we could at least blame the needle for being stuck somewhere and repeating the same part of the song again and again. Now, now we can only blame ourselves. But is there anything like good advice when it comes to love? We all love in different ways for our different reasons, I now find myself trying to explain to this youngster that at 23 he loves in a different way and he can not expect the other to love him in the same way for the same reasons. It seems to be a hard thing to understand. While at the same time wondering; did I myself have that? Shamefully the answer is no, and I only found that out just now. About time I hear someone think. Sure I know there is something to blame for things not working out. But do we have to blame the person for having another perception of what love means to him or her? I don’t think that would be fair. Working on a relationship, does that mean we only want to change the others way of thinking about love to more match our own ideas?
Love a cruel thing, to happen to anyone. But to quote someone; even if it last 2 seconds, the feeling is fucking amazing. Another truth! So we do it al for goose bums, an upset stomach and sleepless nights. What a weird species we are. And we have t nerve to call it civilization? We must be joking.
What ever I might think of it now, I also feel the pain and the happiness and even though I could do without the pain, it is part of the big game. Now however it is about keeping this young man on the path to a better future, not having this pain destroying his job, his turn to become someone better. To get away from the past and start a life, where, and I can only hope, he will get the chance to make something out of the things handed to him.
From where I am in life I can watch and be there for him in case he needs to talk, I don’t know if he listens to a word I say as he is young and from a totally different background, but for what it is worth there is someone out there he can reach. With my track record not the best advice, but who knows maybe he pick up on something where I didn’t or not wanted.
For as it stands there is not an app for it at the moment……
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