checking suitcase

The last couple of days working, a weekend and off on a well earned holiday. Already there in my mind so i have to be careful not to show up at work in flip flops and a multi colored short..... I do my best. the usual things are done, checked in to my flights, cleaned the suitcase (which actually needs replacing) packed the first few items and trying to remember al the other things I need to get or to pack. 

It has been a year and a little since my last visit and so much has happened but most important I am noticing that my brain is full, full of stuff, collected over the last few months and i do need to get the lid of this barrel and empty some of it into the Atlantic and let is disappear into the distance to be never seen again. Years ago i thought vacation time, who needs it truly, only to find out now that I do!

The sun is out and i have a blue sky at home and even someone wearing something blue when he leaves the water, but this is on the clock. How ever long it is going to last? I have no clue, sometimes it gets a little more serious and within seconds you can feel him taking some distance, because what we do or what we talk about it getting to "serious". For me it is funny to see this and i must admit sometimes I try to trigger it. Yes he is dear to me and i do enjoy the time we spend together, lately we do talk after "you know what" and i like it, it is a slow part of telling me more about his life, and trust me he is very slow in that. Well lets be honest its not easy communicating from the closet. Now i am going away for the better part of 3 weeks he lets me know that he would have liked to be with me on the beach. Tough! You decided to go on your own and not take the oppertunity to join me visiting my family down south. you would have had your freedom and no one would have asked any questions, you would have just been accepted for the guy you are. well maybe in the future you will take that chance and see why i am happy there. 

when ever life hands me lemons i try to make lemonade of it in spain ad some alcohol (call it lemoncello) and put my feet up! Life truly is to short for bullshit! I am about to start work today knowing that tomorrow will be my last working day for a while..... and with a smile i will start and finish today as i am getting closer to my days away in the sun, where I can gaze into the blue sky waiting for my blue short wonder, but you will be on my mind.....