Winter is coming, the nights get colder and we are planning to change the tyres on the car, is this the time to announce winter? The sun was out today and I even worked in the garden to get it ready for winter, and there it is again, winter. To be honest it feels like it is the time for it. The nights are noticeably shorter and it is still dark when I leave for work in the morning. Last week the farmers removed the last of the crops from the field and so autumn seems to be well on its way.
I noticed that there are still leaves on the trees in my garden so it seemed not yet time to start the end of the year routines. Sitting on the couch now surrounded by candles and having the fireplace warming the room my mind is more going towards the coming season.
Even when I find myself alone on my couch I am content with it. As of late it seems more couples are struggling with their relationships, and to be honest, that is not motivating me anymore in having or finding one.
Still having a husband in a way and having none in another, can one get more cryptic?
Missing is the guy next to me to cuddle and feeling the comfort and the peace because he is there, but on the other side having my freedom at home and not having to worry what goes on in his mind, on the balance, its quiet and when I need him I can always call him and I am fine afterwards. Funny how things can go, but things are fine, to be answering that question in a simple matter.
Vision is a thing we forget to mention or think about when we get married or decide to start a serious relationship. What would a not serious relationship be? Even with my butcher I have a somewhat serious relationship….. I do want to know what ends on my plate. For the moment how ever I am glad I have the place to myself, no dealing with others and their wishes, I know it sounds selfish but in a way I am done with that, or maybe just tired in doing so. Now I have time for my books, movies and friends, and I can put them away or on hold when it suits me.
If I want to change the world or want mr. Perfect I just close my eyes and imagine, what ever I want and in 2 seconds I can change the world, organize world peace and even change my husband if I want. Fly to far away places I have never been and do things I don’t dear in real life. Imagination has been my lifelong friend, I have always been good in writing short stories and it helps me with the madness or stress off everyday life. Behind closed eyes everything is so easy, but it would be unfair to expect that from real life. Even my husband would be boring if he would fit the bill. We try to change so much of what we are giving in life and for what? Why did we go looking for it in the first place, sure I would like my love to be as it would suit me, but would that be honest? We should add to each others life and we should get out in the end the better. Today while cleaning I found my wedding vows, or rather ours, reading them it feels like it as been ages since we said these things to each other. They still sound nice, and so I might do something with it. Even with the divorce around the corner it is a memory I like to keep.
When I close my eyes
I can concur the world in 3 seconds
Climb towards heaven and live there
Make love in 2 seconds.
Build a castle in 1 and destroy it in one more
Burn all the money in the world.
Know what future will bring
But its all in my head
I would love to stay there
Thoughts come and go
I could stop time
Love again
Be invisible for a lifetime
See the world through your eyes
Close my eyes and walk through walls
And it is all in my head,
How I would have loved to stay there
Thoughts come and go
And I can fly, where ever desire takes me
But all in my head, all in a second
I think it is about time to close my eyes for a few seconds……….see what’s in my head
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