Well hello, it has been a while but i’m back. A week ago i left for my holidays back to “ little heaven”, and i found peace of mind and time to write. At the moment i have no access to the program so i can’t even tell when the last time was i added something.
After a few days of sunshine it is time to sit down and gather my thoughts from the past days. First thing I thought to have noticed that the “blue shorts” were out and replaced by red, but after a busy day on the beach today I stand corrected. Blue is still out there and hot as ever.
In other parts of the world life is going crazy, killings and bombs go off as if they were getting out of fashion, I spoke with a friend in Kuwait to see if he and his family were ok, after a nutter blew himself to pieces in a mosque killing many others with him. While I was waiting for him to respond I remembered my parents and was shaken by the fact that I could only think of one thing, happy they are dead and no longer see the world that once was a “safe” place fall to pieces. Sure we had terror forty years ago but we could still ride our bikes and play outside and look forward to the holidays and go somewhere exciting. Now you can meet your end on a sun stretcher in Tunisia. Mum and dad you are truly in a better place. When my friend finally answered he too was thinking of one thing, wherever you are or go is it still “safe” ?
During my time in the navy I have been in areas or situations where danger was a given thing, but we knew, this however is a word gone crazy. So being here on the beach enjoying the sun it is amazing but with a question mark somewhere in my brain; for how long? As with many things you have to let go of ideas, fear or even hope sometimes, so my turn to put this thought on hold and look for the brighter things in life. What lies ahead? Well as I started my somewhat new life after my retirement I found myself more at ease with so many things and found a new me, I didn’t know was out there. Change is a good thing and it is going to happen, many of my friends told me so, and guess what they were right. Afraid of the new pat of my life I was just not able to see past the line of retirement. Now I know my time was the right time to leave turn around have another look and try something new. The old me is still there with the memories of days gone by, one day it just happened my navy days were a nice memory and that is the way it is supposed to be.
A few weeks ago my mother died suddenly and it hits you again, time moves on, things happen. She left us peacefully and somewhat fast but we have been waiting for this for a long time and I am satisfied with the fact that she was given a beautiful year in the home where we visited her regularly and where we made the final but good memories with her. Another moment in time, both your parent gone, no more stories about when I or we were young, we have to continue with our memories, we are the legacy.
So many times we tell ourselves to make the best out of things, out of life but do we really listen to ourselves? For example in our love life? We are bound to make mistakes and learn even when we know better, sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. The best thing I have learned lately is to let go, let go of thoughts and unhappy feelings. Why linger on problems you can not solve, people who will not change, typecasting and so many other things others decide for us. Why not just fall in love with the person that makes you go ahhhhhh? Because he has a different religion, color, or age, the world is changing faster than ever and still we cling to those medieval thoughts. Gone are some of these for me and I am trying to make the most of things while the time is given to me, fall in love buy a pink shirt or a flower print short. Yes I stay within logical lines, well the ones I consider logical, but all is fair in love and war, so lets give it a shake. Love in this case I leave the war to others, I did my part there and lets face it in war someone always dies, not the prettiest of thoughts so onward with the happy ones.
Just when I thought I would never meet someone in Spain, things seems to happen and no I can not say where this is heading, well to a certain point, the beach and dinner tomorrow after that all is possible. So here is a temptation because so many things in this are not standard and I do not hols the answers, I let it run it’s cause.
A sunny day ahead with a new friend and half way through my holidays so plenty can still happen, I leave my options open. No ideas or thoughts planning on what to do when something happens, let it happen and enjoy the ride, it’s the best fun park ever! But in our long talk I mentioned blue shorts so I am curious will they be there for me….. I will not wear the myself, temptation has to arrive in them.
When I sat done I was planning on writing about a few things but now I am busy I think I keep it with the “things that happened” story. Deeper thoughts are for another time, when I am not on a break, enjoying what every day will bring. Being home from home I didn’t even notice it has been over a year since my last visit. While I was out for a festival I et a few people and all seemed to be surprised by how well I looked,well why didn’t you tell me earlier I looked sick, out of it? Just going with the happy thoughts and compliments now, and I do feel a lot better, so fun ride here I come. Cautious but still with a smile and by now a fantastic tan, if I make a mistake I make it looking damn good, summer has arrived!! With that thought I hope I will be back writing more, as I promised myself several times over the past years, but some things are getting ready to get out there….. until next time, hasta luego
