In a world of imagination

Take a look. Traveling into the world of my creation. Well it will not be mine but Disney's, after so many years I will be back soon! Just felt like I needed to write a little. So much has happened and on the other side so much has not changed at all. There's something in the air, wish I knew what. This is a break that feels deserved, my time with the navy is getting to the last 2 years. Life will be changing and I need to prepare as I need to get ready to turn 50 soon. What's the difference i say, not much but also too much. It feels I arrived here too early. But for now I am gonna be busy with what to pack for the coming days. Next time I am trying to post from sunny Florida until then!

Some questions have answers .....

Wooow it has been a while, and i truly had plans to write more, and more. But life seems to go into another gear and I lose the time to write or for that matter post.

I passed on the opportunity to write while we had a “blue moon” a few weeks back. Not only my life has it changes also the people around me seem to find themselves in different, places, moods and or other things.

Within this time I have to find where I am going in the near future, and try to let go of what I am doing today, but I find it hard to do. Letting go of something that has become almost like a way of breathing, not such an easy task. Never thought that work would have such an impact on life, other than the average hours in a week, month or year where I am expected to show up somewhere to do something. After almost 32 years of wearing a uniform it seems to hit home……. This is more than just something that pays the bills; it has become a way of life. So what is next? Honestly I have no clue. My head needs to get around the fact that in 2 years time this will all be the past for me, it will turn from “just another day at the office” into “once upon a time”. However hard I try to lose the ties that bind me to the Navy, it isn’t working. Maybe the next step to switch to a 4 day work week will help, but I doubt it will be that effective. Turning 50 soon is another milestone, well I think it is, probably just a number. So many things that I thought once would make a huge impact on my life turned out to be just ripples in the water. Think that death will be the big impact, but I hope I have some time till I have to prepare for that one.

In 2 weeks time I will find myself on a plane to the US, and damn it has been a while…… 11 years I haven’t been in that country, and off to Florida for some work and some “me” moments.

Making sure I will take it in fully as I have no idea when I will be able to go back, so Florida, Orlando here I come. Knowing it might not happen again soon I am going to make sure that I take in as much as I can. Friends will try and see me while I am out there, so good moments catching up with some of them and this time not via Face book. Time for some old-fashioned chatting! Being together as this big “www-family”, sure has its pro, but let’s be honest what are we really sharing? For my part, I know and I am cutting down on it, as I did recently on my “friends”, I have started to make a selection, and was somewhat shocked to see that I “unfriended” over 20 people, as they came into my life after a meeting or floating around in a canal in Amsterdam, but never heard of since. Yeap, time to clean up life, well the one that is gone digital. The coming week I will try to even clean up some more and get old stuff out of the way, all with good intentions, but I want to go back to be a more private me. As I do in real life. The friends I made in Bahrain are the ones that together wild the old crew remains in close contact but all others are mere floaters on the web. To have the luxury to go back to simple life after the digital revolution, I think is a good thing. Take a step back and be surprised by things people do, not if they were able to flip the perfect pancake, for this one picture on Face book. Ok, I have to admit I find myself doing the same thing, so admitting to baking a cake becoming the highlight of my day, is that sad? I like to think that in a day more exciting or for that matter important things happen. People around me are starting to write songs, change jobs or other more important thing, we’ll definitely more important than just another loaf of sweetbread that I pull out of the oven.

Love, (sorry made me laugh) same as it was, still in love with the same guy, and it is going nowhere. Fought hard to get over him, but why? It feels good where he is and where I am. Still married and even that feels ok. He is there when I need him the most, and vice versa. I have no more expectations regarding us, him or life between us. We took our roads and as he writes ;”life between us”.

He does his things and I try to keep busy with mine, sometimes we manage and sometimes we don’t. we had a few very nice moments together, where it felt like he was there where he belonged, wel l at least in my head, and here I am the egoist, I don’t care what he feels or thinks about it. He is still hovering above so many things and living in a state where reality seems a world away. Maybe by now he doesn’t even notice anymore. But in the end I still love him for the guy he is when no one but me watches him.

In all I think things are ok, not great, but hey, I need things to dream….. and hopefully to manages in the future, be it far or near.

New people came into my life, and I have to figure out where they will go in the future, are they on my path for a short moment or might I be with them somewhere further on the road……

As ever things are moving, and I would like to give it a magic “Harry Potter” wave of a wand or maybe just let it happen.

The future will tell, as there still is no crystal ball app to do it for me…..